I hate the fact that people think they know me, after about, 2 weeks of talking to me! Everybody gets the impression that i'm a nice, sweet little girl, who's really kind and caring. And yea, i am kind and caring, but i'm far from nice, and even further from sweet! I can't get it into their heads, that i'm really horrible! And i am. I don't say it to put people off, i actually mean it!

Now there's only two people who can control me, and the way i am. But Sal, more then Helen. I only see Helen at school, but i talk and see Sal loads. She knows everything about me, and doesn't judge me. She understands me. She knows when to back down because i'm in a bad mood, and doesn't wind me up more. She knows when i need comforting but don't want it. She's amazing. And i am evil! Very!

( Dum de Dum )

[	mood	|	awake	]
[	music	|	Britney Spears - Everytime (Remix)	]

Damn... it's 1.36 am - and i'm wide awake, due to caffeine overdosage! Meh! And, i'm feeling really lonely at the moment!

It really fucking sucks not being in a relationship - i have -nothing- at all, to look forward to when i wake up! My life sucks so much! I've had so much shit go on the past 5 years, i feel like i actually can't hack anymore! But i have to put my -happy- little tinkerbell face on, and hide all my feelings... as people start to moan when i don't smile! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I'M NOT SMILING -ahum- got that off my chest!

As for the weekend, it hasn't been too bad! I went shopping Saturday, and set my aunty's car alarm off - she weren't impressed! And then i made Christmas decorations with my cousin Ben - my god i love him like he's my own son...

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	Coheed and Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic	]

Meh! God damnit i'm so fucking tired!!! These sleeping pills are really catching up with me now =( Ah well! I finished all my exams though, so i've got a nice 4-day weekend, to catch up with sleep, and go shopping to buy birthday/christmas prezzies for my friends! Yay!!!

[	mood	|	annoyed	]
[	music	|	Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For	]

Omg i forgot i had this ass thingy! hehe! Haven't written for ages...

And i'm damn bored, i mean very bored! Meh! And atm, i'm at home, and my sis just decided to invite loads of her mates back - i don't need this shit!! I am in such bad pain, and she couldn't give two fucks. Mind you, she is a self-centred piece of lard. She's fat, annoying and ugly, and i hate that she's my sister! It's saddening.

On a brighter note, i'm talking to Nixzy - who is my ex-girlfriend, who i love like hell, but dumped! Don't ask me why, i don't know myself, and i 'spose everything happens for a reason... but i'm still trying to find that reason! It's really hard talking to her, because i love her so damn much, yet i'd miss not talking to her, 'cause she's great =) So lotsies of kisses to her...*mwah*

[	mood	|	Grrr lols	]
[	music	|	Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For	]

Wooo! Got my journal up and running - took me ages to be arsed to do this thing!!!

I'm on the phone - how fun! Helen hasn't stopped ringing me all day - fuckin' woke me up as well!

And i'm bloody hyper, very very bloody hyper. I shouldn't be really, seeing as me and my sister beat the shits out of each other earlier... Ah well, was very fun!

And i took some new pics last night - omg i look a gormless idiot!! Ah well

xxx